Art and Expressive Therapy Projects for the Grieving and Healing Soul--Part Three

Letter and Journal Writing

A suggestion for creating a letter or journal to your loved one
or to hold the emotions you may feel about the death of your loved one.

By
Michaela J. Gagne

Choose a journal book or piece of paper that feels appropriate on which to express your feelings and thoughts.  Also choose a writing or drawing utensil(s) (pen, pencil, marker, charcoal, paint, colored pencils, pastels, etc.) that is comfortable, does not offer too much resistance, and seems fitting to you.  This process can be an on-going way to communicate with yourself or with your loved one, or can be an activity that takes place only once.  You can decide what feels right.  Art can also play a helpful role in this process.  Explore images as a means to express emotions.  Colors, shapes, scribbling, abstraction, etc. all have the ability to help provide a sense of healing.

The following are suggestions for writing a letter or keeping a journal to your loved one.  This can be a means to heal and feel a personal, ongoing connection with your loved one.  It can make emotions and experiences seem less overwhelming by containing them in a safe format.  Art, including forms of symbols and images, can also be used in conjunction with writing or as a substitute for writing.
•    What do you wish you could have said to your loved one while that person was alive?
•    What do you wish to tell your loved one now?
•    Tell your loved one about what is happening in yours and your family’s lives.
•    What do you hope your loved one is doing now?
•    Ask your loved one for strength and courage, guidance and inspiration, and a means to find it all from within yourself.


The following are suggestions for writing a letter or keeping a journal for yourself.  This can be a means to sort out your feelings, reflect on your emotions and experiences, and clarify your personal goals.  This is a safe way to express anger, sadness, confusion, and other overwhelming emotions you may be experiencing.  It is a confidential means to review your own thoughts and progress, all with the ability to revisit these entries and view your own growth.  Art, including forms of symbols and images, can also be used in conjunction with writing or as a substitute for writing.
•    Express your personal emotions daily or weekly.  Report on your daily or weekly activities as well.  Don’t be afraid to look back at what you have written in past entries and notice similarities and differences.
•    Compile a list of goals for yourself in your life, related or not related to your grief and healing process.  Be sure to add goals that are new and different hobbies, activities, and/or challenges.
•    Use free association while reflecting on your life.  Free association is writing down any single word that comes to your mind, no matter how seemingly ridiculous and disconnected.  Simply allow yourself to write without inhibition.  Only when you are finished with your list, reflect on why you might have written each word.
•    Keep track of overwhelming emotions and notice if any change occurs over time.


There is no right or wrong in your journal or letter writing.  Try to develop the courage to attempt something different during this process, including incorporating art.  Creating something new can lead to new thoughts and ideas that can be inspiring. 

Editor's note: This article is part of a handout used by the author to teach art therapy to parents who have lost a child. The remainder of the handout will be published daily over the next few days.